(feeling) stupid silly sane

Everyday I oscillate between

stupid, silly, sane

I feel inadequate and grapple with the strain

I put it on my calves and nose and knees and lips

and then a laugh gets stirred and rises from my hips

and then I feel real silly that I ever felt the way I did

And silly always makes my face twist in a sideways grin

and that’s how I arrive at sane and remember how it’s been

to be a swimmer in the sea when you’ve found your fins

located

I have found that dangerous thing that I’ve had a shard of embedded in me since birth-and now, knowing where the pieces are, I have to return it. I will coax it out of me half Medusa half snake charmer, and right when it reaches the surface…empty it out to the light hard, fast, and certain.

Advice for You (where you is me and me is you)

Allow yourself to feel everything fully and unapologetically. When we do this, we achieve a true awareness of ourselves and have no fear showing that person to the world. 

 

I’m working on sharing a new series of automatic writings I’ll be using a word i haven’t found yet to display. They are phrases that have come to me in meditation, on walks, and in times of reaching for understanding. This is the first in the series.

 

Haikus of Italian Origin

Rome:

From Brooklyn we roamed

Like young lions descendents

We felt right at home

Pisa:

Things are looking up

A Pisa our family

Found reunited

Florence:

Old art and new art

In an old place new to me

See how old/new see

Venice:

Siren of water

Swept me through her blue canals

Sway with me she said

Milan:

Eyes and a turtle

Opened up my perspective

At the 12 train stop