Everyday I oscillate between
stupid, silly, sane
I feel inadequate and grapple with the strain
I put it on my calves and nose and knees and lips
and then a laugh gets stirred and rises from my hips
and then I feel real silly that I ever felt the way I did
And silly always makes my face twist in a sideways grin
and that’s how I arrive at sane and remember how it’s been
to be a swimmer in the sea when you’ve found your fins
To write a story
it holds humanity
in its arms
a gift to the collective
of its own doing-
carry the words
we can’t articulate
the nights we pretend
we have nothing to say
I have found that dangerous thing that I’ve had a shard of embedded in me since birth-and now, knowing where the pieces are, I have to return it. I will coax it out of me half Medusa half snake charmer, and right when it reaches the surface…empty it out to the light hard, fast, and certain.
A small dose of automatic writing for breakfast.
Sometimes I not only lose my place in the world, but I lose my place in my world.
And then something happens-and whatever it is, I remember I’m not half bad after all.
These moments take off like birds from a branch-fast and seem weightless.
I almost forget them. I almost don’t.
Allow yourself to feel everything fully and unapologetically. When we do this, we achieve a true awareness of ourselves and have no fear showing that person to the world.
I’m working on sharing a new series of automatic writings I’ll be using a word i haven’t found yet to display. They are phrases that have come to me in meditation, on walks, and in times of reaching for understanding. This is the first in the series.
From Brooklyn we roamed
Like young lions descendents
We felt right at home
Things are looking up
A Pisa our family
Old art and new art
In an old place new to me
See how old/new see
Siren of water
Swept me through her blue canals
Sway with me she said
Eyes and a turtle
Opened up my perspective
At the 12 train stop